I Wanted My MTV

I had a brief brush with MTV fame. Or at least a regular gig. I’d done some freelance writing for MTV, dopey tags for their commercials and what-not, most of which was never used. Then another writer I knew told me about a new comedy game show the net was producing, and that I should contribute to it.

So I went to the show’s offices, hung with the writers and producers, traded one-liners and concepts, when somebody suddenly said to me, “Hey! You should be the host!” The other writers nodded in agreement. I didn’t know if they were putting me on, but soon I was in a small studio taping a screen test. I stood at a podium reading the horrible script in front of me.

I asked if I could re-write it. “Sure, sure. Whatever man.” I crossed out much of the material in a theatrical fashion, as if I was trying to kill the script (which I was). I jotted down some raw ideas and began improvising in front of all these MTV people. Everything clicked. The writers were extremely supportive and said I was their pick to host. They couldn’t wait to show the tape to the bigwigs.

A few days later, I was informed that the game show was flushed in favor of The Big Serious Show, starring Yahoo Serious, an Australian comic who was coming off the film Young Einstein. I remember an MTV party where Yahoo was introduced to several executives. He looked confused and frightened. Still, he got his show, which lasted, I believe, one week. And while I was willing to let my earlier rejection slide, my chance to be an MTV celeb never returned. I don’t think I had the right haircut, anyway.

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